Simplify Christmas

After blasting through the holidays, I have yet again realized my biggest pet peeves about the season of giving & cheer.

There are plenty of reasons to like Christmas:
1. Christmas lights

Photo by Ansel Adams

2. Changing seasons
3. Sales & shopping
4. Presents (buying for others & receiving)
5. Treats & eggnog
6. Seasonal Holiday Sweaters

As I grow older some of the magic of Christmas has started to wear off, quite literally. In fact, once learning that there truly was no such thing as magic, Santa, or flying reindeer, I have slowly felt my awe of Christmas melt away.

I still like the lights. In fact, I love the lights. This may be my favorite part of the holiday season. I love to stroll the neighborhood and look at all the different houses lit up like Christmas trees and seeing their Christmas trees through their windows lit up like fireworks. Even in the apartment complex where I live I could see a dozen or so trees lit up through patio doors & windows.

I also like the giddy childish feelings that freshly fallen snow on those twinkling lights conjure out from the child within my soul. I especially love when the snow is thick and wet and sticks to every limb; every branch big with it / bent every twig with it (yes, I almost always quote Thomas Hardy's "Snow in the Suburbs" when a snowfall like this happens).





What's not to like?
Every year I feel this dubious pressure to buy gifts for everyone I know and their pet. Seriously, grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins, parents, siblings, significant others, friends, pets, nieces & nephews. And that's just if you haven't gotten married and started a family of your own. Okay, I know most people don't give gifts to every single family member let alone every single person they know, but there are a lot of people that do make the list.

I hate Christmas shopping. I hate the crowds of people in the stores during November and December and the fact that everyone thinks they are more important than you. I am not normally a pessimistic person, but the holiday season seems to bring out the worst in people when they are in stores & parking lots.

I also don't like opening presents and getting a million little things that I didn't ask for or  need. When I get everything home after Christmas Day it's like Santa's workshop threw up all over my living room floor. There is barely enough room in our one-bedroom apartment with all the stuff we buy for ourselves. Now on top of it I have a ton of random goods to find storage for, and every year there ends up being a pile of "things I don't need." I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am truly grateful for everything my parents do for me and get for me, but sometimes it's the thought that counts. I want to cut back on the gift giving part of the season; spend less, buy less, give less, receive less. But how?

Solution 1: Non-secret Santa


Who says you have to buy a gift for everybody?
In recent years my family has taken up the trend of drawing names. You are most likely familiar with the concept: it's like Secret Santa but without the secrecy of who has whose name. I partake in three separate name drawings: one with my mom's extended family (cousins/aunts/uncles), one with my immediate family (siblings/their spouses), and one with my husbands family (his siblings/their spouses). The matriarchal/patriarchal heads of household remain in a separate pool of gift giving and usually receive something from each of the children (sometimes a combined gift from all children).

Family List for Non-Secret Santa.

Even with this system of name drawing I still have 10+ people to buy gifts for: 3 from "Non-secret Santa," my mom & dad, my mother-in-law & step-father-in-law, and my step-mother-in-law & father-in-law, plus any friends or nieces/nephews I pick something out for.  I end up spending hundreds of dollars and sometimes not knowing if the person will even like what it is that I pick out for them. I spend more and more in an attempt to "even out" the amount of money I spend on each person. This solution helps, but I usually still overspend and overbuy and end up feeling like a hamster stuck on an electronic hamster wheel of money grubbing guilt. I feel guilty for not spending more money, and I feel guilty for going over budget.


Solution 2: Handmade Gifts.

Whatever happened to handmade gifts?
When I was younger I (understandingly) had a lack resources to go out present hunting; i.e. no drivers license & virtually no money. Therefore, most of my presents were handmade. I will admit that not all of them were of highest craftsmanship, even though I might have thought they were A+ quality at the time. My dad still has the electrical wiring I bent with a pliers to spell out DAD dangling mid-air on a similarly hand-bent wire frame. Yes, this was ingenuity for a 12-year old. I must say it was a lot more creative than some of the other handmade items I've passed on as gifts in the past. The more embarrassing, less creative counterpart to the DAD gift was the MOM gift. A wood block I drew "MOM" on in bubble letters for my dear mother; but it is worth mentioning that she still has it on the bookshelf downstairs.

While you might think these gifts suck (I even think these gifts suck), I am not suggesting you run into the woods to find a branch to draw on for your mom's next present. I am simply suggesting returning to the idea of handcrafting a special gift for the people you care about.

There is no law that says a handmade gift is "cheap." 
My sister's house is full  and I mean FULL of handmade or salvaged decor. (If you're a regular on the blog you might have heard me mention her crafts(wo)manship before). Her house is gorgeous; modern country, lots of white, lots of natural wood & metals.

Okay, I know this isn't a Christmas gift, but this is an example from my sister's house. They had just installed a new countertop made from re-claimed hardwood flooring. Just thought I'd share an example of something that is inexpensive, hand-crafted, and looks like it could be in a magazine.  Check out her blog: The Pretty Thrifty Couple

I was talking to my dad a few days after Christmas and he told me about my aunt's family Christmas tradition. They draw names (with EVERYONE's name in the drawing) and they have to make something for that person, by hand. They have a full year to think about it and gather supplies. I'm not saying you won't spend any money making a gift by hand, but it is much less likely for you to overspend on a gift that you are crafting. Make a list, buy the supplies you need and that's that. No last minute "extra" gifts to even the playing field. No feeling guilty that you didn't spend as much on Romeo's gift as you did on Juliet's. Plus, you have a sense of accomplishment. You made something.

There are a few potential flaws to this handmade gift idea:
1. You can't return something that is handmade
2. You might be emotionally hurt if the recipient doesn't like it
3. It takes time and planning. And did I say time? Probably a lot of time.

My answer to all of the potential flaws is to chose to make something you know the person will like! This is extremely important. You will mostly likely spend hours making it & the idea that someone would stick your hand-crafted goodness in a back corner or basement and pull it out only when you visit makes my heart ache.

How do you pick an A+ project?
1. Visit there home and get a feel for their style (if you don't already know)
2. Go shopping with them and make mental notes when they point out something they like
3. Talk to them about their upcoming Home Improvement Projects or their Dream List
4. Stalk their Pinterest Boards
5. Talk to their significant other or someone else who is great at gift ideas

It's time for change.
My family has already taken the leap from "gift-giving frenzy" to the Name-Drawing approach. I am ready to make the leap to Handmade Christmas. It might not work for all of my family-circles, but I am hoping to begin the Handmade Christmas idea with my immediate family for Christmas 2014.

These solutions aren't for everyone, but maybe one or both of them could work for you & your family. If you currently feel like every Christmas you are tasked with buying presents for everyone in the world, try suggesting drawing names at the next family meeting. If you have little kids in the family you can either chose to leave them out of the drawing (put an age limit on it, say 16+), or you can chose an adult family member to chaperon them & almost certainly provide money for them.

If you are sick of the hoopla that goes with receiving a million different presents, the simplicity of name drawing is sure to cut down the amount of unnecessary items you receive over the holidays, but if you wish to cut that amount down even further maybe trying the Handmade Christmas approach would work for you. In fact, combined with the Name-Drawing approach, the number is immediately cut down to one gift. By agreeing on giving handmade gifts the giver is forced to think intentionally about what they are going to give the recipient. They will spend time thinking about that person all-year or at least while/until the present is made. And hopefully, if all goes well, the recipient of your gift will be proud to display their gift in their home. (I say display, but I could just as easily say wear or use.)

In my opinion, one of the greatest things about choosing to make handmade Christmas gifts is the fact that you will have done your planning in advance and will have all of your presents wrapped and ready to go by Thanksgiving (wishful thinking!).

What are your Christmas traditions? Do you have any other ideas for ways to simplify Christmas? Let me know in the comments or send me an email.

Here's to a better, cheerier Christmas in 2014!